Tired.

These past few weeks, have been a little bit tough. I am still trying to learn how to make everything all work with the house and all the responsibilities that go along with it. I have a deeper respect for my mother! I think back on all those years when my father was out of town, and at the end of the day she was completely exhausted from trying to make sure everything was taken care of, mostly with no help from my sister or me. She had to do it alone. If she didn’t do the laundry, it didn’t get done. If she didn’t dust, mop, sweep the floors, vacuum, clean the bathroom, make breakfast, lunch and dinner, get her two children ready, teach them how to be functioning members of a household and society, then there was no one else to pick up the slack. I understand why at times there was a strain in her voice, and a concerned frown upon her face. I understand why just “one more trip” to the store was just as reachable as sprinting to Disneyland. I empathize with my mom. I feel similar to how she felt those times. No, I do not have children or a husband to tend to, but I am still responsible for the laundry, meals, mopping, sweeping, bathrooms, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, shopping, yard care, bills, walking the dogs, feeding the dogs and the cats, exercising all of them, disciplining the unruly animals, cleaning up their messes and making sure they don’t make more of a mess. Adding to this, there is primary, sharing time, ward missionary work, my job, the gym, and martial arts. The maid that picks up the slack for me, changed her mind and resigned! By the time I lay my head down to sleep, I feel as though I should be able find dreamland instantly. Instead, I think of all the things I still have yet to accomplish. I worry that I am not being a good enough “pack leader” for the animals I love and adore so much. Eventually I do fall asleep, even if it is just before the alarm goes off. I know it will get better, I know that it will not always feel this overwhelming, and I do enjoy my cute little house…even if the disposal, toilet and faucets need to be replaced.


I haven’t mowed the backyard since I moved in, and the grass is so tall, I lose Daisy in it. Tramp has to jump like a jackrabbit just to get through it, and daisy is like a snake, staying low to the ground whipping her way around. The front lawn was mowed by my dear sweet John, and since then, has grown again with all the rain we have received- maybe he will be gracious enough to surprise me again and mow both!



I don’t mean to sound all whiney or anything- I truly am blessed! I know that I am being watched out for, and that if I were to ever need it, my family and friends would be there to help- all I would have to do is call…I am just trying to learn to be self-sufficient. I will get there, and tomorrow will be a better day. After all, it is SATURDAY!!!

Not much....

I have been struggling with this poor little blog for quite some time now. I look at all those amazing blogs out there that I silently read…the ones that inspire me, uplift me, and make me feel like I am semi-normal, and wonder how those amazing people have the courage to put there innermost thoughts and feelings into a network of trillions of people! With all of the bad stuff that is so easily accessible on the internet, how can someone trust enough to put their story out there? I came to the realization quite quickly, that yes, there are a lot of horrible things that are all too easy to find with a click of a button. That darn little mouse has made many great men and women fall into things that they otherwise, would hopefully never have delved into, had they not clicked that button. It is enough to make anyone leery of using this great technology. But on the flip side of it, there is so much good on here as well! So many places to be uplifted, inspired and to learn and grow! I am amazed every day that I find something that makes me stop and think of how grateful and lucky I am to be where I am, and to know the things I know! I have decided that I want to be a part of it. I want to inspire, uplift and enlighten others. I have been on the receiving end of so many others inspiring thoughts and honest and open feelings, I want to give back as well. Besides, for now, I only know of maybe two or three people besides me that even look at this little blog, and it is ok! I know those two or three other people, and they are pretty darn awesome! The rest of the world that I don’t know, whether they stop by or don’t- doesn’t bother me in the least. I know that if it ever becomes and issue, there is a button to fix it!