Cleo woke me up at about 3 a.m. and I knew that I was in for and ordeal! Her belly went from barely noticeably pregnant, to on the verge of exploding in a matter of a week, and as excited as I was to see her little ones, I felt bad that she looked so miserable too! I thought that part of it would run like clock work. You know, the part where you get the box all ready, and cat just instinctively knows that she is supposed to have her babies and keep them safe in there? The one that she's sat in a few times, slept in, and seemed to understand, at least in your head, when you told her "this is where you have your babies". Not so. Cleo's plan was different. She didn't want to have them in the box, she wanted to have them in none other than my garment drawer! See, she knows how to open my dresser drawers, she does it all the time, little sneak! Luckily for me, she finally consented, after a little help of coaxing her by me, and closing the closet door when she finally came in! Lesson number 1: Patience generally pays off in the end, and a door can definitely help!
By 6:15, we had baby number 1! born tail end first, and covered in goo- Cleo was doing a great job cleaning her off, until baby cried. It totally freaked her out! she looked at me like, "what the crap am I supposed to do with it?!?!" Didn't help that she was still in labor. The next two kittens came together, tail-ends first again...one was stillborn, but oh so beautiful! Cleo did a much better job with those two...well the living one, seems to be that when a cat has a baby that passed on before it was born...they know not to do anything with it.
I was thinking that she was done, I mean she's a very small cat how many kittens could there be really? Guess there were more. the fourth one came (you guessed it, tail first) and it sadly as well, was stillborn. I learned lesson number 2: Always look on the bright side. Two is better than one!
After the 4th kitten, Cleo curled up and started taking care of her little ones. I was pretty sure this was the end, since she was more relaxed than before...but you never know with Bengals...I took the two precious angels outside to give their bodies a resting place on earth...and by the time I got back in the house, I hear Cleo call for me again...I ran upstairs to find her needing help with baby number five :) Tail first, body stuck, and who knew that sometimes they come before the placenta instead of in it! Lesson number 3: Nature has a way of taking its own course.
(sorry if the pics gross you out...I think they are awesome)1 girl and 2 boys...what a sweet little litter. What wasn't sweet about it? Well, my little Cleo doesn't want to be left alone! She believes that if I am home, I MUST be in the closet stroking her and telling her what a great mommy she is! Seriously, from Saturday at 3 until Sunday at 2 a.m. I was able to catch ZERO sleep. I ended up grabbing my pillows, and sleeping in the closet-well trying to sleep in the closet..every time I would start to doze off, I got a nice set of teeth in my hand, letting me know that sleeping wasn't appreciated, nor was it going to be tolerated. I was on the verge of tears by the time 8 a.m. rolled around. Lesson #4: Motherhood, even if it is to a cat, can be extremely painful!
Now, today is Wednesday. These beautiful babies have been here four days, and my heart has grown around each and every one of them. NOTE: If you aren't in the mood to read or hear sad things, stop reading this post NOW!!!
I came home today, after picking up more cat food, and I myself being a little under the weather...to find that the sweet little female kitten that was born first, had passed away.
It tears at my heartstrings. I have no idea why she didn't survive, she seemed to be doing ok. But I guess her little body, whatever it had gone through, couldn't do it anymore. I was definitely in shock, and thought I was handling it ok, especially when I took this picture of her, up until the point that Cleo came up, and grabbed her to take her back to the box! My heart was wide open. There was a mommy, wanting nothing more than her baby. With big tears in my eyes, I told her "I am sorry, but she is no longer with us! I am sorry my sweet Cleo!" I am usally quite sure when she understands me. She at least humors me so I think she understands me...this time she did not understand. She cried and howled all the way down the stairs, as I carried her little one. I hear her behind the door, begging me not to take her, and I did it anyway. My wide-open heart was now not only wide-open, but it was tearing in every direction. My cat's heart was broken, and mine was broken with it. My nieces came to stay with me for the evening in the midst of all this...They helped me pick out a spot to bury this little one. They hugged me, and told me how sorry they were... Madison named her Ruby. We prayed for Ruby, and we prayed for Cleo. We even prayed that Kokoro would help little Ruby and keep her safe for us! Then, Reagan looked at me and said, "Auntie? I am so sorry about your Cat! Can you keep another one so you not be sad????" I wish I could Reagan...but you know, you make me happy!So in this very long story, I learned many more lessons besides the first four. I learned today that love knows no bounds, and that I am truly very tender-hearted and have a hard time letting go. When I love, I love deeply and fiercly. I learned that even in the saddest of times, there is always hope, that a prayer from a young child, can mean more in the world than any prayer I could give. I learned that no matter how tough or happy my exterior is.. it must be needed to protect my sensitive heart. I learned that those many hours that I have spent "in the closet" with Cleo, I wouldn't give a single one up, nor will I give up the many more hours that I will be in there, as she is still not thrilled to be alone. I learned that no matter how much I love, I always have room to love more. And I learned that my heart can and will be sewn back together, as long as I trust in my Heavenly Father, and Savior Jesus Christ. Tonight I cry, but tomorrow I Smile!
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